


Please Say You Want Me Back

by blackparadehowell (lester_howell_fanfics)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 22:42:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10706667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lester_howell_fanfics/pseuds/blackparadehowell
Summary: After the end of his relationship with Phil, Dan is struggling to move on. Then the house party happens.tws: mentions of drugs and alcohol





	Please Say You Want Me Back

Dan’s hand slipped on the handle of the front door. An old house that looked like the set of a shitty horror movie loomed above him. He scrambled to get himself and his soaked friends inside. He didn’t even know who the house belonged to, only that people were here. And someone he was looking for. 

Inside, the room reeked of alcohol and sweat. Terrible pop music blasted from a speaker. He spotted Phil instantly, his arms wrapped around a pretty girl. Jealousy roared inside the brown-haired boy. He felt his nails dig into his palms, trying to shove it away. 

Suddenly an old high school friend came towards Dan, shockingly tipsy and wanting to reminisce on old times. Not wanting to be rude, he quietly accepted a soft drink and murmured half-hearted responses, but his friend didn’t care. They were too intoxicated to realise. Dan kept feeling himself being drawn towards Phil, looking back at him every few minutes. 

“Dan?” 

Dan whipped around, almost spilling his drink all over his ex-boyfriend. Phil stood alone, his flawless face a mixture of confusion and pain just inches from Dan’s. 

“Er, hi-” he stuttered. 

“What are you doing here?” Phil demanded, a frightening hostility in his voice. The memory of him instructing Dan to never come near him again flickered within Dan. He flinched.

“Phil, please, can I just talk to you for a minute?” Dan begged, trying to remain composed. Everyone in the room was focused on the two boys. They all knew what had happened last July. 

A scowl covered Phil’s face. He nodded tensely before leading Dan to an empty bedroom. Fear began to leak into his mind. As he closed the door behind him, Phil leaned his head against the door and sighed softly. Dan’s arms ached at his sides. All he wanted to do was hold Phil. 

“I’m sorry, Dan,” Phil said softly, turning his head to his side to see Dan. 

A lump formed in Dan’s throat. He knew what was coming. 

“But I’ve moved on, and so should you,” he said, making eye contact with Dan. 

Tears flooded his eyes. He knew he couldn’t do this. Any hope Dan had of remaining calm was growing smaller with each passing second. 

“Why? Please just tell me what I did wrong, I can change-”

Phil turned around to look at Dan. His face was a mask of detachment and bitterness, but in his eyes Dan could see the pain. 

“I can’t be with you anymore, Dan. I told you why. You’re toxic and clingy and needy and I’ve found someone else. I don’t understand why we can’t just be friends.” Phil said, his words hurting Dan more than anything ever had before. 

Dan swallowed, trying desperately not to show him how this was killing him inside. “I know, you told me. I just…I miss you, Phil. I want you back.”

Without warning, Phil dropped his guard. In one fluid movement, he stepped forward and took the dark-haired boy in his arms. 

Dan began to sob into Phil’s chest. The weight of everything that had happened in the last year hit him like a tonne of bricks. 

“It’s okay, Danny,” Phil murmured, using his old nickname for Dan, “It’ll be alright.”

“I miss you so fucking much,” he cried, shaking. 

Dan looked up to see Phil closing his eyes tightly. Just like he always did when he was trying desperately to forget something. He felt Phil’s hand grabbing the material of his shirt and making a tight fist. Dan felt like a recovered heroin addict having his first shot of the drug in months. He could feel Phil’s touch making everything melt away. Deep down, he knew that he could never be with Phil. Too much had changed. But for some reason, there was a deep and unrelenting longing to never let go of the man in front of him.   
Desperation took over Dan’s body, and before he could stop himself he felt his body lean towards Phil’s lips. He kissed Phil, hunger and loneliness fuelling him to do the one thing he promised himself he wouldn’t do. His lips felt so familiar, so soft. He was lost in the world of Phil before the sound of an opening door dragged the boys back to reality. 

The girl stood there, horror covering her pretty face. 

“Phil? What the hell?” she demanded. Instantly, Phil pushed Dan off him and tried to talk to his girlfriend, but Dan didn’t hear any of it. He slipped passed the girl and locked himself in the bathroom. 

His hands weaved themselves in his own hair as he sat and tried to comprehend what had happened. Did Phil want him? Why did he act so angry before he let it all go and hugged him? How did that kiss feel so fucking good?

Frustrated with himself, Dan stood up and looked at himself. His face was ruined by tears and dark circles hung below his eyes. 

One thought consumed his mind. He had to leave. As he stumbled through the hallway, he turned to look in the bedroom he’d been with him in. Phil was sitting with his girlfriend on the bed, quiet words from him destroying the look of rage as she let his hands under her shirt. 

Tears poured from Dan’s eyes again. He ran out of the house, the shock of more water soaking through his still damp clothes hitting him. He stood leaning against a street light trying to catch his breath. 

The realisation that Phil was right began to overwhelm him. No matter what Phil felt, he needed to let go. There was no point in being in love with someone who was unable love him back. Even if he didn’t know why. As he walked down the street, Dan promised himself that he would never see Phil Lester again.


End file.
